this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
