so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I didn't notice because vodka
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
