Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
