we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
