; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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