so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
