so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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