I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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