Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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