so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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