"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
