Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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