i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
