I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
