At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
