I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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