So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
