you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
