Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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