maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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