I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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