Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
