Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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