look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
