Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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