I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
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Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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