Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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