Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.