I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites