oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.