are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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