Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
