He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
