i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize