We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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