I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How drunk are you?
Completed.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize