the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
FUCK WHALES
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