dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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