u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize