Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
