I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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