Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
