Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
