I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
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At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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