She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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