I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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