you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
