reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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