I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
from now on my penis is your penis
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
