Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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