Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
