I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
