Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
