Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ugly people sure do ruin things
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
wow bdsm is so cute
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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