The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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