I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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