Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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