The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
