I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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