My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
