I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Found your dick twin last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
